Just look how I fell off the wagon!

Now if you'd spent a whole month trying to avoid buying nothing new, what would be the first thing to encourage you to part with your cash? Bet it wouldn't be a tub of dishwasher powder! Something with a touch of luxury would probably win the day and who could blame you.

But for me it was pure unadulterated minimal packaging that broke the financial fast, a tub of Bio-D dishwasher powder, a gleeful alternative to packaged tablets that are not just fiddly to open, but make it difficult to be more economic with measures, especially those with the plastic wrappers that dissolve in the dishwasher.

By now you probably think that I'm either jolly sensible, satisfactorily frugal, or indeed barking mad. A combination of all three might be appropriate. A Buy Nothing New month, in November, just before Christmas...perhaps bonkers might spring to mind.

But with the exception of some new pyjamas - bought to cobble together an elf costume for the Defender of the Bin's Christmas play - we did it! And oh boy did we save a decent amount of cash in the process. Mr A avoided the departments stores down in London and rejected the temptation of a brand new extension set for his Warhammer hobby. That alone saved us a whopping £100. I denied myself a couple of books and avoided all my usual retail haunts. Altogether, I reckon we saved ourselves about £200 from our usual whimsical spending.

So what about Monday...the first day of December and the end of our month's challenge?

Did I rush to the shops? No

Was I itching to treat myself? No

Was my credit card burning a whole in my pocket? No

So I got away with it for another day then....a whole new me?

er..............hum......................No.

Well, I would have got away with it if it hadn't been for those pesky kids, er I mean the most wonderful people over at Natural Collection with their fabulous range of goodies.

You see, all I did was innocently log on during Monday evening to buy a a tub of Dishwasher Powder. Yep, the one shown above, which is refillable and a super duper Zero-Waste winner.

But with my Christmas browsing head on I happened upon this....



a solar powered lamp that would be perfect for the kids' playden, which means they can hang out there after school even in the Winter.

Then this...


a solar powered multi-gadget recharger, ideal for charging up Mr A's phone and other gadgets. Never will his Blackberry be out of juice again.

And just as I was closing down, I saw the most delicious present for the kids...



Mr Robot Head, a wind-up toy which looks like it could prove an interesting challenge for the whole of the family and no doubt will create a big buzz this Christmas.

Look at him....how could I say no!

Kerching!

The best bit for me is that I covered most of my Christmas shopping in just one evening and even remembered the wrapping paper, recycled of course. And with all that's on offer, I may be revisiting Natural Collection very soon to finish the task in hand.

So there you have it. The end of the challenge and the credit card put to work again.

I just hope Gordon Brown will be pleased with my efforts as I'm always a good barometer for the economy you know.

So it's now feet up and rest until I welcome my delivery!

This is my kind of Christmas shopping.


______________________________________________________

School's out for Summer! Waste-free tips for the holidays

So today marks the beginning of the summer holidays, with lots of fun, frolics and adventures to be had over the next six weeks...

...which means that battle will indeed commence in trying to keep the house as waste-free as possible....(sigh) all those temptations, kids' magazines, ice-creams and sweeties...what is a girl to do with two constantly hungry young lads on her hands with high testosterone levels?

At least I had a practice run during half-term and will be reinforcing my plan in an attempt to keep the waste down over the summer.

So, if you're in the same boat and are slap-bang in the middle of school-holiday fun, try the following tips to keep you and your rubbish bin as sane as possible:

Tip 1: The first trick is to avoid taking the children to the shops at all costs, unless it's to try on new shoes, in which case flee the shopping mall as soon as you can. Otherwise, you will be prone to temptation for the simple sake of sanity.

Tip 2: If you must be accompanied by children wanting this that and the other, use the promise of a treat that you have already prepared at home. If it's tempting enough, they will be champing at the bit to race you to your front door.

Tip 3: Be prepared with easy-treats at home so that you can keep your promise: Even if you're not a confident cook, try simple things like mixing Rice Crispies or Corn Flakes with melted chocolate to create chocolate nests. Even better use reusable cupcake cases! Buy large chocolate bars in foil\paper wrapping which can be recycled easily rather than small bars which come in landfill-destined film wrappers. Buy sweets or candy loose in paper bags instead of those that come in small plastic bags.

Tip 4: If you find it hard to resist the Pied Piper effect of the mobile ice-cream van and its jaunty tune, make sure that you've got a tub of ice-cream at home (in a recyclable or reusable container of course). This way you will avoid the useless sticky wrappers that end up in the dustbin. Make it special. It is summer after all. Follow in the footsteps of restaurants and invest in some reusable chocolate sundae glasses, where you can hide little treats at the bottom of the ice-cream. Fresh fruit is best. Try heating up soft fruit with some water and sugar to create a fruity sauce. The kids will love it, especially if it's topped off with some grated chocolate. You may even get hooked on making the ice-cream from scratch. But if this isn't your thing try ice-pops instead, where you can make your own with fruit juice or home-made smoothies. Old yoghurt pots are good for this. Just remember to insert a lolly stick, which you can later compost or reuse.

Tip 5: If you are going on holiday or vacation, avoid the temptation to buy new toys to keep the kids quiet. Dig out some old toys that might have been buried in the bottom of the toy basket. They will be as good as new, saving you both money and extra clutter. If travelling by road, play some travel games...e.g. Road Sign Bingo, giving everyone a list of different road signs to spot, where the first to cross-off everything on their list is the winner. For younger children try Red Lorry Yellow Lorry, where they get 2 points for every lorry of that particular colour. The first person to reach 10 points can pick the next colour (change the points system to encourage numeracy skills as appropriate).

Tip 6: Have fun in the garden! If you're a real Fun-Time-Frankie, prepare to get your hands dirty! Fill up a watering can, preferably using the water butt, and find a spot of garden which can be turned into mud pie heaven. Plastic cups or plant pots are perfect for the job, but make sure that you are suitably covered up. Otherwise it will be more than your hands that will be covered in mud! After all, you don't want to stain your best clothes. That's not good for Zero Waste.

Tip 7: For adventures outside the home, gather a kit-bag that is ready-to-go with a packed lunch. Take your own drinks bottles, which can be refilled as necessary. Try to avoid the landfill-sinner cling-film and make use of washable food containers instead. Fresh fruit is better than film-wrapped snacks. Take some of your home-made goodies when you can. If you find it more convenient to buy snacks en-route, look for packaging that is compostable or recyclable and if you can't find a suitable recycling point while you're out and about, consider taking it home.

Tip 8: Use the free time to save yourself waste and money later in the year. With a whole summer ahead, get the kids to design some home-made cards. Stockpile for birthdays, Christmas and other occasions. Try to use materials that won't stuff up the recycling system at the end of the waste stream, so avoid things like googly eyes, foam shapes and glittery bits. Instead use a variety of papers cut into different shapes to make interesting features, patterns or a picture collage. You could even glue some seeds, which the lucky recipient can plant into the ground once the intended celebrations are over.

Tip 9: Ah...did anyone mention Christmas? It will be here before you know it, with more clutter hitting your kids' carpets faster than you can say Festive Greetings! So with time on their hands over the holidays, have a good clear-out and get your children to have a go at the CBBC's Clutter Nutters challenge. If your kids think you are the battiest or meanest parent on the block, then this will help your cause. Instill a competitive spirit enticing them to clear as much clutter as possible, with a trip to a car-boot sale or charity shop to follow. No doubt bribes, I mean tokens of encouragement, may be needed, but these can be as waste-free as possible.

Tip 10: And finally, remember the power of No! If your little angel has a desperate need for something that you know will be gracing your bin within minutes of play, be brave enough to say it...N.O....but be prepared for temper tantrums, pleading eyes or even threats of strike action. For that brief (but seemingly long) challenging moment, grab your confidence with both hands knowing that there are many parents standing shoulder-to-shoulder in full support of your actions. We will applaud you as you rise to defend your bins from mini waste-saboteurs. No matter how old your children are, be sure to tell them why you've said no and if you feel it helps, try offering an alternative distraction that is bin-friendly. They'll thank you when you're old and grey.


So...with my defences in place I am now looking forward to a long summer of creative fun with Mr A and the kids. Of course this all means that while I'm enjoying myself I may not have access to the computer, so be prepared for my posts and comments to be more random than they have ever been before.

You might even find me popping up in odd places, like France or indeed the Swiss Alps? Who knows where I'll end up. If I appear randomly at a spot near you, please let me know and I will come and drop off my recycling....or even swap it for some of yours.

Please feel free to have a good old poke about the site and visit some of the older links and don't be afraid to comment and chat amongst yourselves. You're very good at encouraging each other! Even if I can't reply, I have the technology to at least read what you've got to say, which means I'll never feel homesick.

So summer fun, here we come......and happy holidays to you all!

__________________________________________________

Birthday Musings: Part 5. The Awards Ceremony

What a funny old week. One day I’m neurotic the other I’m relieved. What a real old bag of emotions I’ve turned out to be. All because of a birthday party. But the truth is out...I’m a batty old bird, who was brave enough to say “no presents please” to the first few recipients of the party invitations, then scuttled back to my nest thinking forget it.

Anyway, as tradition has it, the thank you cards are being written and will be winging their way to friends and family soon. And we truly grateful for the presents that have been given to Little T this week, so thank you to all our friends and family. You've all been very kind.

However having anticipated, unwrapped and opened, it's now time for the AMABAs, Almost Mrs Average's Birthday Awards.

So from the podium, I am pleased to announce the first award, as declared by Little T himself.

Yes, the first award is for Little T's most played with present...the one that he won't leave home without

...The nominees in this category are The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter, The Magnetic Fishing Game, Roary Racing Car Books, Groovy glue stick, Garden sticky ball game, and the Crayola Create Your Own Racing Snails.

So cue-drum roll and air of anticipation.

Ladies and gentlemen...(rustle of paper for effect)... I am pleased to announce the undisputed winner is....

The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter...

Round of applause please. And to the other nominees, thank you, thank you, thank you...it was very close and time will tell...you know how fickle kids can be.

But moving swiftly on...to the next category, the one where it took time to open, with twisting bits here, twisting bits there...


Yes, the next award is for the Most Overpackaged Children's Toy.

...The nominees in this category are...The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter

erm....just one nominee? That can only mean the outright winner for the category of overpackaged children's toy is the...

The Corgi Twisterz, Twist and Launch Car Transporter...

... which even comes with a few of these...whatever they are called.



In fairness the overpackaging on this item isn't as bad as some toys I've seen in the past. However why Corgi need to strap the toy to the box, I really don't understand. After the thank you cards have all gone, I will also send a card to Corgi, telling them that Little T doesn't really need the extra bits of plastic that came with it thank you very much. He'd much rather whip the toy straight out of the box and play, play, play!

So that's what we're off to do. With the weekend upon us and lots of toys to play with, we're off to have fun.

But before I go, I'd just like to thank everyone again, not quite a Gwyneth Paltrow moment, but enough to say, thanks to everyone who participated in Little T's birthday and to the readers who have sent birthday wishes. It's been a fun week...and one more time...Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Hope you all enjoy the weekend and see you next week for some more fun and games.

_________________________________________________________

Birthday Musings: Part 4. The Relief

Oh Geez. I know I said "no presents" to my friends, but losing the royal mail collection cards, requesting that I pick up my parcels from the sorting office, could be seen as ..... extreme!

Boogger!

These parcels were Little T's gifts that had been sent by our relatives from afar.

I was out all day on Tuesday when the postie tried to deliver them and couldn't make it to the sorting office after school, so I put the cards in a SAFE PLACE. The plan was to collect them yesterday, on the way into town, and get them home in time for Little T to open before we set off to the party.

But have you ever used a SAFE PLACE only to discover that it is actually the Bermuda Triangle?

I am sure I put them in my car! It felt like a good plan.....hmm...perhaps I put them in my bag, but which one? These days I've got more reusable bags than I can shake an unwrapped cucumber at? And one Bag For Life looks just like another.

After 20 minutes of hunting, I found a card...oh but it was the wrong one. This one requested that I pay extra postage costs to release a letter because the sender had underpaid. It was two months old and they only keep items for three weeks. Sigh.

I'm beginning to think I need a PA.... a Mother's Help...or even a Therapist.

At least the card had a telephone number, which I thought I could put to good use.

In desperation I picked up the phone.

Ring Ring, Ring Ring, Ring Ring.

Everything was crossed. No-one would forgive me if the presents were left abandoned...Little T or Mr A... and as for the senders...they'd be aghast.

I was feeling aghast myself...talk about things coming back to bite you on the bum!

"Hello, Bury St Edmunds Sorting Office" sang a friendly voice.

I explained my predicament. Would I be allowed to pick up Little T's birthday presents without the collection cards?

My face fell at the news that I needed the cards because they use an ID system. This of course is sensible, but surely there must be a way of coping with tricky customers like me.

I could just see it now...my reputation at stake amongst my in-laws. Being generally disorganised is one thing, but being ridiculously out-of-control is more memorable. Little T would get wind of the news one way or other and would never forgive me in the years to come.

"Oh dear" I replied, with a big sense of disappointment.

"I hoped that if I gave you my address, you might have them all in the same place".

"Well, tell me where you live and I'll see what I can do" said the very nice voice.

I gave her my address.

"Yes, Yes, that's good. I know exactly where to find them." she said assertively.

Phew. That was a relief. But she said it so knowingly that I did get a little paranoid that I may be getting a reputation. Have I forgotten to pick up lots of other things that have gone by the wayside I wonder?

Hmm. I really wonder.

Nevertheless, thank goodness I live in little old Bury St Edmunds and not a city suburb. I don't think I would be half as lucky. So with that news I tootled along with my driving licence as ID. One of the parcels was also my order from Lush.



I am so lucky...and so is Little T.

He came home from nursery and opened them up one by one...a snazzy car transporter, a floor puzzle, a few corgi cars and some money. Coupled with the racing driver's outfit that we got him, his birthday was as modest as we had hoped for.

And as for the party, that too was a success. The children enjoyed the painting activity at Coffee 'n' Kids and the only packaging that went in the party bags were the wrappers that came with a couple of chocolates that were on-the-house.

Some friends collected some money for us to take Little T to Bewilderwood, a magical treehouse adventure park in Norfolk and he had a few other presents, including a book, some arty stuff, a garden game, a fishing game and a packet of sweeties. There are also a couple of racing snails.

(Yes racing snails! Don't worry they're not live ones.)

But what the heck...yes there was some packaging and yes the contents may eventually join the casualty bay underneath his bed, but I think he did really well. And after all it's party-time, time to let my hair down. It's also time to reinforce better habits in Little T, to help him look after his toys.

Where I had once been overwhelmed by the expectation of masses of stuff, I am now overwhelmed by people's consideration and acceptance of my whims and the dreams that I have for the Almost Average Household.

So to all my friends out there...thank you for simply letting me be me!

It's now time to start working on Christmas..

....oooh don't you just love a challenge!

__________________________________________________________

Birthday Musings: Part 2. The Declutter

Stop...Stop!

Please don't phone the police!

It's not burglars!

Honestly...it's not!

It's simply the work of a three year old boy and his 39 year old accomplice, who really should know better!

You'd think I'd learn by now wouldn't you...

Never to do...the annual pre-birthday declutter...........on my own!

...especially when the King of Decuttler and strategist extraordinaire is out-of-reach and far far away on a three day residential course in Buckinghamshire.

Let's face it...he is the expert in messy bedrooms. I, on the other hand, am crap!

I really don't have the head for it!

Never have!

But I was a desperate woman, preparing for another exciting birthday in the life of the Junior Waste Saboteur and embarking on Mission Impossible, which was to create space for some new presents to land. So it was time to sort out the toys and rearrange the furniture. The only other time this happens with such conviction is Christmas!

However, the flaw in this plan is that whenever I move around the furniture, I reveal the beastie that lurks in the bedroom. I know it's there, but if I don't look it will go unnoticed...and therefore it will cause me no distress.

But when I go hunting, I need to have my wits about me and make sure I am sufficiently armed to tackle the real nightmare that hides under the bed and in the shadows of the bedroom. If you're a parent who also struggles against chaos, you'll understand what I mean.

It looks like this.

ARGHH!

To the uninitiated it appears pretty harmless.

But the truth is that it's an unexploded bomb awaiting disposal, a casualty bay of things missing in action and a collection of wasted opportunities.

With a background in library management, you'd think I'd be good at sorting and putting things in their place.

Well if it's got a Dewey number on it and is part of an age-old classification system then I am. However, the problem is that the broad categories of broken limbs, random jigsaw pieces and unidentified plastic objects are enough to send me running to the hills with my finger in my ears singing la, la, la, avoiding the truth of the matter and the inevitability of landfill.

But at least I can deal with things that look like this...


Yes, I know I chose carefully, but aside from the fact that it's a much loved bin lorry, the other thing I like is that it comes in just four easy bits, which once put together can be handled as a specific toy with a real purpose.

It's not that I dislike things like jigsaws. They're great and give the brain muscles a good flexing, but you can get too much flex when the odd piece goes astray.

Then there's Playmobil! Why did I buy that farm set off eBay, with all those fiddly bits, when my eldest boy was just three? Talk about peaking too soon!

Life would be easy if it was just Books, Lego, Cars, Trains and Kid K'Nex.

I'd know where to put them.

But I suppose it would be boring for a boy who soaks up learning through play, like a sponge with water. However, to his credit, his imagination knows no bounds and he can do all sorts with a cardboard box and a sweeping brush!

The great news is my mission to declutter was successful and that I've collected a few odds and ends to pass on to good homes, like little T's nursery and the fair-trade cafe in Bury St Edmunds.



But we've also said a sad goodbye to a bag-load of cuddlies, who have gone to a really good abode through Freecycle.




Anyway the surprise for everyone, including Mr A who gets home today, is that this woman on a mission finally pulled through and within a couple of hours of blood, sweat and tears, managed this miracle...



Oh, how I wish there was a course in the Management of Stuff. Having had kids, it'd be of much more use than a masters degree in Library and Information Management.

But at least, with the room now in a state of managed control, I can breathe easy, which is great news because the party is tomorrow.

Yey, time to celebrate.... in more ways than one... before I move onto the next area of the house...the kitchen!

_______________________________________________________

Birthday Musings: Part 1 Neurosis sets in

It's that time of year again, when it should be an occasion to relax, wear a big smile and celebrate.

One year older, with another 52 weeks of memories to look back on...reminiscing about the wonderful times and they have been great.

So why am I feeling tense?

It's not as though it's my birthday.

No, mine's not due for another couple of weeks and this year it will be the big 4.0. Yes you read that correctly...FORTY YEARS OLD!

But strangely I'm feeling more neurotic about the birthday of the Junior Saboteur, who will be turning just a tenth of my age on Wednesday.

Yes, little T will be celebrating with four little candles on his cake.

The party's booked and he's invited his little friends to paint ceramic cars at a kids' cafe in town. It's the first time he's had a party "off-site" so to speak. I normally enjoy organising birthday parties at home, but this year he wanted to celebrate his special occasion elsewhere. And I'm not going to say no to cappuccinos on tap for two hours and people on hand to help.

So last week, we made the invitations and handed them out...to nine children...

...and yep, that's when the neurosis set in!

Well I suppose I really was laying my reputation on the line for all to ponder...

I've thought about it before, but it wasn't until last week did I feel brave enough to dare say it..

...brave enough to utter the five little words that on the surface seem so simple...

BUT...

which have the power to make you stand out from the crowd and stick out like a sore thumb in the modern age that is the 21st Century!

Yes five simple, well meant words...that go something like...

"Please don't worry about presents"

There, I've said it!

That felt so much easier than when the words stumbled out of my mouth whilst handing out the first three invitations.

Lovely as my friends are, when I uttered those words and witnessed the double-take I did feel somewhat like an alien who had landed from outer space or like a lunatic that had escaped the asylum.

I guess, it is pretty unheard of...a birthday party with no presents.

How could a mother be so cruel?

How could a four year old understand?

The truth is that I don't feel cruel at all. Little T has got loads of toys to play with, whether they're his own things, his brother's hand-me-downs or odd bits of pap that he's collected from fairs and comics in years gone by. His bedroom is already too small to cope with it all.

But could he really understand if friends didn't give him any presents? I suppose I've never made a big thing of taking him shopping to buy a present for a friend's birthday party. It's always been easier to go off and get it myself, so the gift thing has pretty much gone under his radar.

As ever, this birthday he's going to have lots of presents sent in the post by relatives that live far away, from aunts and uncles who see him infrequently but who want to still play a part in his life with gifts on special occasions. There'll also be a present from his brother, for them both to share, and being his loving parents we've got a little surprise for him too.

That already seems like a lot of things to keep a little boy amused. So I don't think he'll feel underwhelmed. In fact, I'd hope that he'd feel happier that his old mum's sanity was kept in order.

But is this sufficient justification to break away from the modern tradition of guests bearing gifts at parties?

It feels like tough love, trying to move away from consumerist patterns of owning lots of things that clutter up the house and eventually get worn out or broken and discarded off to landfill.

And then there's the perspective of the guests, or rather their parents, who want to teach their children to be kind and how to celebrate special occasions. After all, society almost expects gifts to be offered at events such as birthday parties whether it's out of kindness, appreciation or duty.

Take that option away from someone and it can look like a personal affront, with a big slap of ingratitude.

Which of course it isn't.

If you take a step back and think about it logically, it all seems sensible...well it does to me. It's 2008. We're right in the middle of a credit crunch, with soaring oil prices, higher food costs and more expensive mortgages. What better opportunity is there to break the cycle of copious amounts of stuff.

I'm already feeling like an unnatural radical by suggesting cutting back on presents for my children, but maybe it is time for parents to stand together and all agree to cut the crap, throwing caution to the wind along with the guilt.

Wow...my mother would hardly recognise me...blimey, am I really a recovered shopaholic? Is it my age I wonder?

All this and I haven't even mentioned the "Party Bag Crisis" yet! Ah well...that's another day!

In the meantime, I'll leave you with with some more STUFF AND NONSENSE (quite literally) soon to be published in my monthly column for our local magazine. I told you my reputation was on the line...perhaps I should be heading for my blue rinse now.

STUFF AND NONSENSE.

Whether you’re young or old,
love it or hate it,
have little or lots,
one thing’s for sure we’ve all got some.

STUFF!
And it’s everywhere!

All around the house and in every room.

Nowhere’s safe,
especially the garage.

There’s even stuff in the loo!

There’s stuff that has a home,
stuff that should be somewhere else
and stuff that belongs nowhere at all.

There’s his stuff, there’s mine.
There’s new stuff and old.

We flash the new stuff and hide the old
– in the loft, the tip and the charity shops.

TOO MUCH STUFF!
And it’s multiplying,

You have kids and it breeds.
2.4 children and a mountain of stuff.

There are even days to celebrate it.
“Happy birthday” and “Merry Christmas” we say,
as we hand over the stuff!

SO MUCH STUFF!
Oh the memories,
ah the decades gone by.

Some of mine is 40 years old.
I hope I’ve got another 40 to go.

BUT THAT’S MEANS MORE STUFF

Will I need a bigger house?
Just for the stuff?
Will a bigger house have cupboards?
Could I use the garage as a garage?
Could we just pile it all into a spare room?

I haven’t used half of it.
There are gifts,
freebies
and bargains.

There’s cheap stuff that’s broken
and old stuff that’s gone out of fashion.

OH DEAR IT’S ALL PILING ON TOP OF ME.
I feel like I’m being buried alive.
I can see my epitaph now...


“She was a happy soul, but the stuff and nonsense got her in the end”

________________________________________________________

Kids 'n' Crap!

Oh heck. It’s half-term next week!

Just when you think everything’s going smoothly and all very tickety-boo, school shuts down for a week and all hell lets loose.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually love school holidays.

I love the fact that we can stay in our pyjamas until at least 9 o’clock. I love the fun that we have as a family, exploring new things and going on new adventures. Most of all, I love the opportunity to relax with the children and ditch many of the rules that are tied to the school-day routine.

But this half-term I am also thinking about my bins, which I now feel need as much protection as our poor cats over the holidays, all of which can easily become targets of boredom. Note MY bins…OUR cats.

On such occasions, my youngest loves nothing better than eating half a banana and bunging the rest in the recycling bin, with skin completely intact.

He doesn’t quite understand the implication of contaminated recyclates. Well, he is still only three years old, so the difference between recycling and general rubbish is not quite his thing yet.

However, he does know about fruit and the compost bin and the fact that I do not like food waste, so my diagnosis on the matter is that he is just being provocative, especially as he always runs to me and announces…

“Banana’s in the bin, banana’s in the bin!” all in the same sing-song voice as “Na na, nanah, na” and sometimes punctuated with an evil "Ha Ha" at the end of his gloat.

Hmmm, maybe he knows more than he’s letting on, and yes if there are any child-psychologists reading, maybe we have got issues!

Anyway apart from bananas being bunged in the wrong bin and other pre-school level frivolities, school holidays always provide another major challenge, especially if we are out and about visiting local attractions.

It's the one that is presented in a little cute voice and which often begins with…

“Mum-meeeeeeeee, can I have ________?”

At this point, please feel free to fill in the blanks with one of the following:

a) A kids' magazine (always accompanied by a cheap free toy)!
b) A useless cheap toy, with an attention-holding attribute of 5 minutes
c) A Kinder Egg (another useless toy encased in a layer of chocolate)
d) Packet of sweets or chocolates in a fiddly plastic bag or film

So often this comes in stereo, the youngest boy bleating in one ear with the eldest barking in the other.

You can only imagine the combined effort when mummy says “No”!

Before I started The Rubbish Diet and began to think seriously about waste, I would be happy to buy many of these things without a second thought. As long as the children had behaved I would happily reward them with a treat if I felt it was deserved!

However, since I’ve realised what short shelf-life all this stuff has and how quickly it becomes useless tat that ends up in landfill, there’s a new catchphrase in town!

It goes something like...“Not on your nelly!”

OK, admittedly the odd thing slips through, but only on rare occasions these days. We now try and think of alternative treats like fitting in an extra bike-ride, inviting a friend around for tea or going on a visit to the cinema.

I just wish that 7 years ago, before childbirth, I knew then what I know now!

Hindsight eh!

If only my antenatal classes had covered a strategy for avoiding useless tat in the first 5 years of childhood, I am sure I would be the proud owner of a lovely uncluttered home and be feeling richer for it. The local landfill site would be much lighter too!

However, the beauty of hindsight is that if it pops up early enough, you can be blessed with an opportunity for change.

So if you’ve got kids, pop by later this week for my personal strategy for a waste-free half-term, bucking the trend that's been around in the Almost Average Household for far too long!

I can't promise miracles, but I can at least try and offer some common sense.

_________________________________________________________